don't blame anybody

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Former South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun,62, jumped off a cliff and killed himself Saturday, May 23, 2009. A rags-to-riches politician who had counted himself immune to South Korea's ordinary political corruptions, Roh had recently been under investigation for taking $6 million in bribes, a charge he denied. But the investigation was said to have weighed on him. Whether he did or didn't do what he was under investigation for, he left a note on his computer:

"What's left for me for the rest of my life is just to be a burden to others. Don't be too sad. Aren't life and death both part of nature? Don't feel sorry. Don't blame anybody. It's destiny."

Despite the hand-wringing that death can evince and despite the top-lofty anger or confusion that suicide can provoke, still I find something graceful and straight-forward in Roh's words.

Don't be too sad.

Don't feel sorry.

Don't blame anybody.

Aren't these a pretty good recipe for a whole and responsible life?

I am not suggesting anyone should aspire to a whole and responsible life by jumping off the nearest 100-foot cliff, but I am reminded of my teacher's teacher's words when he said at one sesshin or Zen Buddhist retreat, "you have to die on your cushion."

Soen Roshi's words struck me as a hell of a challenge at the time and perhaps still do. But somehow, because that challenge is just a fact in anyone's life, I think anyone might want to address it ... to find a place in which things are at last straightforward. No more explanations or excuses: What is this? It's not that bad, is it? Moment after moment:

Don't be too sad.

Don't feel sorry.

Don't blame anybody.

Never mind "destiny." Never mind meanings and answers. Never mind imagining there is some control to exercise or something to be controlled. Just once, just for this one nanosecond:

Don't blame anybody.

Jump!
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