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Today, as in the past, I received one of those emails saying that someone wanted to be my 'friend' on the internet meeting place, Facebook. The invitation forced me to look, as I rarely do, at Facebook. A bunch of 'invitations' seemed to have stacked up. So I went through them, reading what I could of each person's profile. They all seemed pretty skimpy.
But what struck me was an 'invitation' from a couple of Buddhist-leaning people, one of them apparently a roshi. I looked up their postings and as far as I can figure out, the further up the Buddhist ladder anyone goes, the more remote they become.
How in heavens name am I supposed to become 'friends' with someone who won't tell me anything about themselves? And why the hell would they want me for a 'friend' in the first place? Is it for publicity purposes? To tack up another Buddhist scalp outside their tipis? As an addition to a mailing list for future events, books, appearances? None of this sounds very 'friendly' to me. It sounds like biz ... the kind of biz in which I am expected to applaud, but don't get paid.
I went through the invitations and declined the ones I had thought I might enjoy most ... other Buddhists. I have little or no sympathy for the remoteness some might excuse on account of the number of crazies out there: If you can't handle the crazies, get out of the kitchen ... or, in this case, Facebook. Or, if you insist on angling for accolades, don't ask me to call you my friend.
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I have friends scattered across the country and FB is a way to not let the distant friendships get tenuous. I have a few "friends" who aren't really friends and a few I never realized were so freekin' boring. FB allows you to "hide" anyone you'd rather not hear from. I'm also "friends" with a few famous people so I'll get alerts when they have a new record album, book or article which can occasionally be too much of a good thing.
ReplyDeleteWell it looks like I've made the cut. My motivation to add you was because I looked up to your posts on E-sangha and Dhamma wheel.
ReplyDeleteYou have some very nice friends on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteCould you stick around for another 10 yrs. or so..please?
Maybe, after a decade of solid practice, I might have the presumption to ask.
And there might be a chance of being accepted.
Or not. :)
Hey Marie -- I'm not trying to play holier than thou. It's just that without some sort of basis on which to be friends (you like Buddhism and I do too; I like Beethoven, Monty Python and NCIS and so do you)... well what's the point? Friends need some details, some points of reference, don't you think? And on Facebook, it's hard to come by those details ... at least as far as I have been able to find out.
ReplyDeleteOf course. I'm sorry genkaku. I was trying to be totally straight and there was no criticism implied. On the contrary..
ReplyDelete