daffodils

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Charles Williams, the Anglican theologian and author of a number of metaphysical thrillers, once created a character who spoke a line that has stuck to me ever since I read it.

That line was: "People believe what they want to believe."

I suppose there are a number of ways to freight that line, to see or feel what it might mean. I always took it as a simple -- if sometimes unfortunate -- observation of fact. People believe what they want to believe and are therefore solely responsible ... a fact that most believers might like to think they are in synch with, but in fact flee like the plague as they rely on the support, accolades or derision of others.

A similar observation was made in other words in the movie "Secondhand Lions," a movie about a boy growing up with two eccentric and formerly adventurous uncles. One of the uncles tells the boy in no uncertain terms, "It doesn't matter whether it's (your belief) is true or not. You just believe it." More often than not, of course, there is a tendency to get sidetracked into worrying whether one belief or another is true and then, having decided it's true, forcing it down others' throats. This is nonsense, but unfortunately it is very human nonsense and sometimes it is downright terrorist in its applications.

If it is true that people believe what they want to believe -- and I believe it is -- then their beliefs rest on what they want and the question that might be asked is, to what extent has what you want ever provided you with the peace and satisfaction you expected? Stories abound of lottery winners who sink into a deep pit of confusion and sorrow after winning what they (and a lot of other people) thought was a ticket to Easy Street ... milk and honey, no worries, everything happy. And the same thing is true with jobs and marriage and religion and ... well, pick a topic: To believe and to rejoice in that belief is simply a matter of choice. If it is other than a matter of choice or responsibility, then it is bound to create sorrow and confusion.

It seems to me that there are two choices when dealing with the beliefs for which we are responsible. 1. We can use enormous amounts of time an energy buttressing and patching those beliefs when the vagaries of life poke holes in them or 2. We can summon up the courage and determination to take the responsibility which a sober man cannot evade and then enter into an investigation. A gentle, but firm investigation. This is not an investigation of what anyone else believes or thinks. It is an investigation of what I think or believe. If people believe what they want to believe, then what is it precisely that I want and how sensible is it ... how sensible in experience. It doesn't matter if it is true, as the movie uncle said. It matters that I believe it and then am willing to follow the Yellow Brick Road implied by that recognition.

Did you ever notice in conversation ... people who already know what they think (and might be assumed to be content with those thoughts) are at pains to express what they think instead of soaking up the thoughts of those whose beliefs they don't yet know. If you were content with your own thoughts or beliefs, why in heaven's name would you have to force them on anyone else? Wouldn't the most sensible course be to listen and learn? I'm not talking about some dimwit CEO who shares nothing because everything is power in his eyes. It's not some screw-the-other-guy-to-the-wall game. It's just called learning.

Well, all of this is scary stuff -- taking responsibility and then investigating the wants that may be enormously convincing. Doubting what you claim not to doubt can be a daunting process, but if you look at the track record of wants, it may begin to make some sense.

Belief and hope nudge us along and light the way, in the beginning. But their rays peter out in the darkness for anyone willing to take responsibility. Still, they nudge us along, lending fuel to our gentle but firm investigation. It's not easy and sometimes we wish dreadfully to go back to a world of television sitcoms and group-hug agreements ... everyone looks so happy and sure and I am wobbly as a child taking its first steps. Wobble, wobble, wobble ... investigate, investigate, investigate ... responsible, responsible, responsible.



And what is the payoff for all this effort?
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Well, people believe what they want to believe, but a field of golden daffodils really is a field of golden daffodils.
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