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Today, because there is an ultrasound test to be performed (no, I'm not pregnant), the daily routine has been interrupted: The orders are, no food or drink before the test. No oatmeal and raisins for breakfast. No coffee. No (to the extent possible) liquids. No smoking.
The interesting thing about being denied is that it offers clues as to how dedicated -- if not addicted -- I am to my routine. And while I am not precisely enjoying this minor bout of asceticism, still I can see some usefulness to stepping back from all those habits I do not generally call habits... the ones to which I am too habituated to see them as habits.
What about writing on the internet, reading the news, pondering this and that, wishing things were otherwise, talking, being happy or sad ... just the ordinary, run of the mill stuff.
Maybe it would be a good idea to take a small break from any of them for a little while ... not too long, just long enough to recognize and take responsibility for what is 'par for the course.' If I cannot acknowledge and take the measure of the cornerstone of the structure, how could I possibly get a reliable bead on the structure itself?
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Lovely post at the right time Brother.
ReplyDeleteI on the other hand, finds a point of time when you practise so much by the commandments (or precepts) that .. at the breaking point my employer tells me the opposite: We intend to let you leave your job but until that day comes take your time and enjoy the experience here. Don't rush, don't panick, don't do anything either including leaving your desk unless told to, and I find that the only solution is for me to visit your blog with my laptop and engage in idle chatter. Maybe go for a smoke later and kill some living cells, :`( or steal 5 minutes off their clock by either tweaking the clock or knocking off before the dot.
Moments ago I was just re-reading Animal Farm by George Orwell, and I swear to you when I was at the last chapter that went "And then the old commandments were forgotten except the new one that reads All animals are equal but some animals for more equal than others".. it was with this brilliant flash of impulse I chose to leave a comment at an instance when my mind was fundamentally flat and equal like what they used to think planet earth look like.
How can this earth possible be flat??? For all you know, all the NASA scientists dating back to Galileo had been either conned or were lying.
If the world was round, why bother building things or have hills and valleys?
How the hell I know which commandment to break today? DUH.
a little cuppa tea for ya.
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Life strikes me as a habit, and medicine an intrusion on the process. But I've found it helpful to add some medical habits to my schedule. No doubt a balance must be struck, and so habits must be examined. But then, would that be the habit of practice?
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