let's not make too much out of it

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A long time ago, an email correspondent with whom I had become about as friendly as anyone can via that medium, mentioned that he had received transmission in a Tibetan Buddhist lineage. "Transmission" means that older, and presumably wiser and/or more experienced, teachers acknowledge an understanding and experience by someone who is comparatively new to the brother- or sisterhood. Sometimes the acknowledgment is pro forma and based on longevity or the fact that the newcomer has passed a variety of expected tests. Sometimes it is based on something more. Whatever the case, my email friend added to his admission a mild, but firm, "let's not make too much out of it."

This morning, I got an email from a woman who wanted to know the zazen or seated meditation schedule in the small zendo or meditation hall I built in the backyard. She began her note with the words, "Dear Roshi." The word "roshi" is sometimes translated as "old teacher." It can carry with it a respect. It can also carry with it the implication that the one addressed has 'attained' a level of understanding beyond what the one using it has. It can, in short, be a woo-hoo of sorts.

When I was growing up, my mother advised me, "Always call people what they want to be called." That way, she implied, you will offer your ordinary respect and the ones being addressed, assuming they care a lot, won't have their noses put out of joint.

I'm too old to care much what anyone calls me, though I'm not entirely happy to be called "fuck-face" by someone who is not my friend. These days, as with the woman's email, I am more concerned that they should be comfortable with their own imaginings. "Roshi" strikes me as a bit much, but if the woman wants to express her respect or woo-hoo that way, well, it's her practice, not mine, and her practice is important. All I can do is what I always do when I receive such notes -- write back in terms I am comfortable with ... plain, ordinary, un-woo-hoo English. That's usually enough to keep petitioners at bay. It may be slightly less than gracious, but it's the best I can do.

Let's not make too much out of it. Let's not make too much out of things. Naturally we have all elevated or denigrated one thing or another as a means of firing up our own intentions, but just because our intentions are fired up doesn't mean anything is worth too much elevation or denigration. Waving the flag of inequality doesn't work and waving the flag of equality also doesn't work when it comes to finding some peace of mind. Let's knock off the flag-waving and just be honest ... that works better.

And let's not make too much out of it.
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