invisibility

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Perhaps because I ate too much for dinner, I woke up and got up at 4 this morning. I followed the usual routine -- pee, take appropriate meds, grab a cup of coffee, a little chair exercise or two, and then begin reading the news on the computer: "My Way News," The Washington Post, the BBC, Reuters, Al Jazeera and the local paper. I don't read them through and through -- just scan and linger as various interests assert themselves.

Today the stories that grabbed my mild interest were the splintering of the Occupy movement and the on-going pedophile scandal at Penn State University. It is always a matter of curiosity that Russia, which once had 16 and now has 9 time zones, rates scant coverage. Mustn't there be some newsworthy stuff going on in 9 time zones? But I guess the news outlets in every country balance their coverage with weighting towards the home front. If it doesn't affect 'me,' it's not newsworthy.

But bit by bit, the morning ritual has become smaller, at least in terms of news interests. Age is the culprit, I imagine. There are so many things about which I can do nothing ... and more, don't really care much about. A part of me is, based on past enthusiasms, ashamed: Surely knowing what happens in the world around me is important: a poorly-versed person is a poorly-versed citizen. But since an aging citizen is increasingly invisible on the social stage, there seems to be less percentage in being a well-versed citizen. That, and then there is the fact that news is largely more of the same -- pretending to be new and novel when in fact it's the same tune with a couple of new trills. I am willing to tell someone what is old hat to me and new to them ... if they ask ... but that's enough.

If the news is important, I think it's likely that it will knock on my door -- at which point I will either do something or not. The wisdom of "forewarned is forearmed" "be prepared" don't impress me as much as they did once. My experience is that you can be as prepared as you like and life offers its ups and downs according to its schedule, not yours.

I sort of wish I were more interested in the news, but the plain fact is, I am not. It's part of becoming invisible both to others and to myself, I guess. Invisibility is slightly strange, but it keeps things interesting.

A week or so ago, the husband of one of my wife's coworkers went deer hunting with one or more friends. He shot and killed one of his friends. He then used his rifle to kill himself. That, to me, is interesting.
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