Dear Santa...

Dear Santa -- I know they're illegal in my country, but they are not in others, and so what I would like for Christmas is a cell-phone jammer.

I don't plan to assume some autocratic posture and jam all and sundry in order to prove that my genitals are somehow larger and more praise-worthy. What I would like to be able to do is remind the increasing number of drivers ahead of me at a red light to pay attention to the light.

And perhaps occasionally, I admit it, put an end to the endless -- and invariably loud -- conversations that shoppers can indulge in without paying attention to the navigation of their shopping carts. And maybe bus and airline passengers who need to talk -- not about arrivals or departures, but just talk and talk and talk ... loud.

I do wonder, in passing, whether giving everyone such a device would promote a more civil society. But I'll leave that to the social scientists.

I've been a reasonably good little boy this year, so I am hoping you will grant this, my only request. And if you want a shot of whiskey to go with the cookies on the table, it can be arranged.