son's new job

Like a kaleidoscope held ever so delicately, a slight, slight shift ... a small "chink" as, perhaps, a single stone realigns itself ... and, voila, it's a whole new picture -- the same, but different. The what-was becomes what-is and some mild sigh wonders what ever happened to the lovely what-was that no longer is and yet is not missing either.

Yesterday, my older son announced to me that he had gotten (it seems to be about 98% sure) a track-coaching job a Plymouth State University in New Hampshire. In tandem with janitorial duties during the second shift, it may be enough to support him. The job represents a shift away from his 70-hour work week coaching track and being a teacher's aide here in Northampton. He will move away. They're paying peanuts, but the college venue is a star on his resume. It is the institution's first time to hire a track coach, my son said.

I am happy for him and simultaneously I don't want him changing my kaleidoscope, which has included his presence here at home.

If I were a Zen student, I would see through and see beyond and be content with the chink-chink-chink of the kaleidoscope. But I'm not: I figure I am providing those who imagine they are Zen students with fodder for their expectation/attachment wisdoms.

What a good guy I am.

I will miss my son.