absolution

As a teenager in the late 1950's, I partook of the same pimples others my age did and succumbed to the typical teen-aged pastime of gradually uncovering the hypocrisies of my elders. What a bunch of fork-tongued chieftains they turned out to be, right? We, by contrast, had the ascending bright lights of the Beat Generation and other beacons of truth.

It was in that time that one of my best high school friends confided to me that he had bitten the bullet with his parents and declared he would no longer attend the Roman Catholic church that was a family habit. I watched his face as he retailed the story. I could see it was not without anguish. The church might be a lot of malarkey, but, but, but ... but the habit was long and not without comfort.

I'm not sure what prompted me, but when he had finished his tale, I asked, "Is there anything you will miss?" The grimness that had hidden on his face grew, if anything, grimmer.

"Absolution" was his one-word response. And the answer shot through me like a hot knife through butter. What a daring, naked response. What a piece of honesty from someone questioning the dishonesty of the world. "Absolution." It was, in its way, a cri de coeur for hypocrites and non-hypocrites alike. It was humanity in my ear and I was gob-smacked.

To believe you might do something in the present that would credibly forgive something in the past. Talk about a blessing ... talk about a binkie of gigantic proportions ... never mind the truth, never mind the hypocrisy ... mind the utter humanity of the wish and the blessing of its fulfillment. Not to put too much of a point on it, JEEEEEE-SUS!!!!!!

Ego te absolvo.... and suddenly sins of omission and sins of commission are dissolved like salt in sea water. Imagine imagining that something or someone could transmit such mana. Never mind whatever hypocrisies are woven within ... shit, just imagine it!