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Last Sunday, because my body was not all it might be, I missed a zazen sitting in the zendo, a very rare occurrence when measured against the 10-plus years since I first built the place.
Zazen was important enough in 1998 so that I built the place. I guess that qualifies as serious intent ... money, time, sore muscles and a hundred mistakes, only some of which could be rectified.
It's a nice little house in my eyes, but the importance has somehow bled out. Sometimes I just can't remember all that importance or, if I can, it feels like someone else's importance. There is a place to sit and I don't like to skip Sunday sittings, but the why's and wherefore's and importance are unnecessary extras ... sort of like tassels on loafers.
Who knows -- maybe I'll get out there next Sunday.
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Lets hope. If not, dont sweat it.
ReplyDeleteWhen clear rejoice! When not so clear, recall such is yours and remember that this too shall pass. Recall you built the "mis taken" place.
That it has bled out is to be expected, dont you think? Perhaps you yet feel this to be a loss.
You do not breath in and out, in and out?