"the real religion"

.
In the email in-box this morning was something whose subject line read, "The Real Religion." Because it struck me as ludicrous, I opened it up.

There were several paragraphs (maybe more -- I didn't scroll down) in English and what looked like Chinese telling me what the real religion was ....

As distinct, I gathered, from all those other unnamed religions. I scanned the paragraphs quickly. It wasn't anything someone hadn't heard before ... the moment, the mindfulness, the clarity, the ... whatever all else.

"The..."

And who, in their spiritual wanderings, wouldn't just love to come upon something that qualified as THE one true cross or something equally metaphorically complete. I know I used to be keen on that stuff ... THE Tooth Fairy. THE god. THE ....

And even before I deleted the email, I could see that this was, indeed, THE one true religion, the real deal. All that was missing was the fact that it was also THE one false religion. Nobody likes the fake stuff. Everyone's hot for the true stuff.

But not me. Not any longer. "True" or "false," don't speak to me of "the." "The" anything is barking up the wrong tree.

The end.
.