moments of guilt

It was Beatle John Lennon who wrote, "Life is what happens to you while you were busy making other plans." It's a line that can catch anyone by the short hairs.

Sometimes I feel a sense of guilt when posting remarks on the Internet in spaces dedicated to "Buddhism" or "Zen Buddhism" or "spiritual life." The spaces are like club houses where club members gather to consider topics designated as club-worthy. I too have devoted sweat-stained gouts of time and energy to such club activities. They nurtured and grew me and I am grateful and I use their spaces. But ...

But I am also increasingly bored and as a result feel like a bit of a faker when entering the club house. It's like sitting at a bar where Red Sox fans know every statistic and moment of glory or defeat ... and the conversation chews and rechews ... and it's tasty stuff ... and you bet I have loved it and honor it ... and ...
"life is what happens to you while you were busy making other plans."

I have a hunch that getting bored is part and parcel of so-called spiritual life. Yes, it nourished you and yes, many of its disciplines and directions dovetail beautifully with "what happens while you were making other plans."

But discussing the Red Sox endlessly only results in a nagging case of hemorrhoids. The topic is fun when it comes up, but what comes up deserves to fall away. 

I have made tons of "other plans." Heaven, hell, enlightenment, compassion, emptiness, wealth, health, family and the perfect spitball. Now I am more interested in the "what happens" part.

It's pretty kool ... but I still feel a little guilty.