Don't mess with me just now. In preparation for an exploratory exam at the hospital today, I have been warned off food, drink and, well, just don't put anything in my mouth. It makes me crabby and, with wife and kids in Philadelphia for a tourist visit, there are fewer diversions, fewer things that would draw my attention away from the facts, fewer points of forgetful solace.
It's not just that I am mildly hungry. What really gets under my skin is that this smooth-sailing habit has been short-circuited. A habit like that isn't easy to break or to want to break. I guess it's about like any other habit -- I want what I want and like what I like -- but just now "food" is under the microscope.
Why must Zen students think that their daily life is somehow not Zen ... that's it's ordinary where Zen practice is (go ahead a whisper it!) extraordinary? That's a rhetorical question, but it is interesting.
Anyway, I have a couple of activities to fill the space between now an 1130a arrival at the hospital where they will look at my liver, spleen and possibly pancreas. I'll shower and do a little zazen ... and gripe. Time flies when you're having fun. :)