a little shame, please

When it comes to spiritual adventures, there is something seriously instructive about the tale of a Centerton, Ark., man who got so angry at a couple of door-knocking Jehovah's Witnesses that he loosed 19 rounds from his 9 mm pistol at their retreating car.

John L. Baldwin admitted in a Sept. 30 police affidavit that he told the two women to "get your fucking ass off my property, I moved out here to get away from people like you." He then instructed his wife to "get me my 9."

Baldwin is obviously in a peck of social/legal trouble. But I would say that his actions, while extreme, point to a pretty extreme problem among the spiritually-inclined -- a lack of much-needed shame. Baldwin's towering anger reminds me a bit of a Christian friend who once told me that there was a perfectly legitimate Christian prayer that went, "Dear Lord, please give him/her/them a swift kick in the ass!" And in that sense, Baldwin was doing little more than acting as God's right-hand man.

Uninvited, door-knocking missionaries can be pretty annoying. There you were, engaged in some daily activity that needed attending to and someone selling their particular belief feels it is acceptable to interrupt ... that you should listen ... that you should agree ... that whatever they are doing or selling is, unasked, more compellingly important than what you are doing.

And if you think I am picking on Jehovah's Witnesses or Christians, I am not. The same stuff goes on in other, better-camouflaged spiritual venues as well. Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Jews and whoever all else can be equally worthy of a few rounds from Baldwin's 9. Why? Because the shame that deserves to attend on their footsteps and their words is woefully lacking. Just because someone says "we're not missionaries" doesn't mean they aren't proselytizing missionaries of the first water.

The shame I am referring to is not based on some socio-ethical rule book or tablet handed down from heaven. It is not based on hitting the dog with a rolled-up newspaper because it peed on the living room carpet. It is based, rather, in the very message of the missionary subterfuge.

Is there anything more yappy and annoying than someone who tells you something is true when it already is true? If God with all his/her/its attributes exists, what need is there to keep nagging others with what is already a fact? And if the need to nag is compelling, about whom does this say more -- the one being nagged or the nagger? Sure, there are a peck of benevolent reasons brought to bear, but seriously, if something is already true, what is the point in being a noodge?

It is one thing to be kind and compassionate. But it is a short step from being kind and compassionate to imagining you were kind and compassionate. And from there, it is a short step again to codifying and trying to enforce kindness and compassion. As the steps progress further and further, it makes you wonder what ever happened to being kind and compassionate.

Similarly, if God exists -- if enlightenment and emptiness and true nature are an actualized fact -- wouldn't anyone feel a bit ashamed of themselves for employing trivial tactics to enforce something that was already in force? Yes, yes ... I know ... it's all a matter of compassion and caring for others ... but is it really? Isn't some modicum of shame warranted when telling others the 'good news' that is nothing more exciting than a fact? Can't others be forgiven and even praised for asking a friend to "get me the 9" or telling the imaginative compassionate interlocutors to "stick it where the sun don't shine?"

In times long forgotten, a Zen teacher (Ta Hui maybe) once advised a student: "In order to do this practice, you must feel shame." I wonder if he was ashamed of himself.

I think a little shame is warranted.

I also think I'd better button up my Kevlar vest.