Thinking about my Zen teacher, Kyudo Nakagawa Roshi, this morning, it occurred to me again that his instructions were not a means of getting me to agree with him.
That's the usual way, I think -- saying something in order to get others to agree or sympathize or be wowed.
But these days I agree with what I understand Kyudo to have been doing: Just offering the best common sense he could muster. Period. Just offering ... and letting the other guy make up his or her mind, arouse his or her determination.
It's hard to convey this in most intercourse because so much of that intercourse has to do with forging agreements and creating group homes of one kind or another. Cozy, social, emotionally satisfying.
But let's face it -- there will always be others to agree and disagree ... and what has that ever proved? The important part is to learn to agree with yourself.
Agree with yourself. Revise as necessary.