Rohatsu

Before I wander off into the verbal frivolities of this rainy, not-yet-dawn morning, I would like to express my admiration for and gratitude to all those who make an effort to straighten things out in their lives.

When I try to nail down precisely what I admire or am grateful for, it eludes me time and time again and I am left drooling and expounding like some lunatic in a padded cell: "Wubba! Wubba!" This is serious stuff somehow and yet to speak of it is purely insane: "Wubba! Wubba!"

Verbal frivolity ... I don't care. I will drool till hell freezes over: Admiration and and gratitude ... it can't be helped.

By some reckonings (in the world of verbal frivolities), Dec. 8 is a day on which to remember and celebrate the Buddha's attaining of enlightenment. Sometimes the day is called "rohatsu" (the eighth day of the twelveth month) and sometimes it is called "Bodhi Day," a day of awakening to the true nature of things, a time admired by some and sought by others.

Reading the preceding paragraph, I am astounded at how much nonsense can be packed into so few words. Buddhists, for good reason, admire and are grateful to Siddhartha Gautama, the man who would become known as the Buddha ... the man who lit the fuse of what would come to be known as "Buddhism." Lord knows he worked hard as he tried to straighten things out in his life. But how long can anyone lounge in "admiration" and "gratitude" without wondering what the hell is being admired in the first place? Judging by the smarm-meisters and others awash in verbal frivolities, the answer is "2,500 years, give or take a little."

"Enlightenment" or "seeing into the true nature of things" -- give me 20 seconds and I'll find you a Buddhist center where someone will be more than willing to explain and expound and take your money into the bargain. It may all be very encouraging, but the question (put somewhat crassly in my mind) remains unanswered in the heart: "What the fuck does that mean?" Language is used as a means of 'sharing' experience, but since experience cannot be shared, what the hell is being shared and what is the experience itself? Where, in short, is the true wubba-wubba?

The word "Buddhism" reminds me of the lame old Christian joke about the three wise men ambling thoughtfully around the manger where Jesus was born. They shuffle hither and thither in the hay on the barn floor, trying to think of what they can call this wondrous child. One of these kings steps on a rake that has carelessly been left lying on the floor ... the handle flies up and smacks him in the forehead. "Jesus Christ!" he explodes... and one of the other wise kings observes, "That's a good name for the kid!"

The word "Buddha" means awake. How could anyone possibly read these words without being awake? So ... what the fuck does "awake" mean in real and actualized and experiential terms?

And "Buddhism" -- that's a good name for the kid. That's as good a name for what is admired and adorned as any other. No one has to be a Buddhist in order to want to straighten out the doubts and uncertainties of this life ... to rest easy at last with the wubba-wubba of things. But "Buddhism" is a good name for this kid, this wondrous child, this rake on life's barn floor.

My Zen teacher, Kyudo Nakagawa Roshi, once said, "Except for me, everything is the teacher." Kyudo was called a Zen Buddhist teacher by others. But I doubt that he would greet such a description with anything more than good-natured patience. That's a good name for the kid. From my point of view, Kyudo was a wubba-wubba man ... someone who directed others towards their own wubba-wubba and was not especially concerned about something called "Buddhism." If "Buddhism" works, he seemed to say, that's fine. And if "Buddhism" doesn't work, that's fine too.

I admire and am grateful to those who put some heart into their efforts. Spiritual endeavor is not an easy choice to put into action. It'll set your hair on fire and eat you for breakfast once anyone commits their heart to the effort. I admire and am grateful for such efforts. This does not mean I cannot be cranky as a wet cat where the lofty and smarmy explanations (my own included) arise, where belief and meaning are spread around like puke on a toilet bowl. But even such idiotic conventions, such bald-faced prevarications are OK ... what other choice is there but to enter into a lie if you want to seek out the truth?

Rohatsu ... Bodhi Day ... Buddha ... awake ... wubba-wubba... that's a good name for the kid.

Drivel and drool...

Wubba-wubba ...

Thank you very much!