mother dying

Last night, my mother's minder called from New York to say that my mother, at 98, had become unresponsive and the medical attendants said she might live two hours or two weeks. The circumstances of the present vie with the panorama of the past ... what to feel, what to think, what to do.

By agreement, she was transferred to a hospice where pain medication could be administered. It is unlikely I will see her again -- I live a couple of hundred miles from New York and medical matters nag me as well. I wish I could say I was simply sad ... but that would be too tidy. If I thought I could ease her burden, I would. If I thought I could ease my burden, I would. I wish I could be as assured as those who will say, "I am so sorry," but it isn't going to happen and besides, I don't want to dishonor my mother.