The road to the heaven we long for leads through the hell we have created.
However true this observation may be, still it cannot detract from the grueling nature of the particulars. Anyone who doubts this needs only to ask anyone who has consented to his or her own particular hell.
Today, rather than write a smattering of thoughts in the blog, I will put my energies into writing/compiling something that is bound to be too long, too freighted, too mediocre ... and yet I feel compelled and will accede to that compulsion. The topic is, roughly, the sex abuse scandal engendered by the Roman Catholic Church.
It will take hours. I will skip the peace picket line I usually join on Saturday mornings. And in the end, I will have to be content that it is 'not good enough.'
Am I well-tutored, well informed, well equipped? Do I have the patient academic or intellectual credentials? Do I have enough facts to go on? The answer is no. I am a beginner, a tyro. Those who have gone before me are far better equipped, educated, thoughtful, competent, patient, courageous....
Perhaps it is a bit like spiritual practice -- it really doesn't matter what you know or think or believe. No matter how many wise counselors have come before ... still -- tough shit! -- you can only work with what you've got. It may be shaming to be so stupid, but Stupid R Us ... do it anyway.
I'm not too worried -- the good thing about hell is that it is always well-lighted.