Saturday, April 30, 2011

enough is enough

A bright and sparkly day after several grey and soggy ones. The trees have adorned themselves with the delicate green of birthing leaves. Daffodils and tulips are everywhere. The birds are making a lively racket. And I look forward to standing in the sunshine on the peace picket line. Isn't that enough?

Skimming the news offered by the BBC, Al Jazeera, The Washington Post, and a couple of other media outlets, I await the story that will grab my attention, that will arouse a sense of importance, that will be, for the moment, "enough." Not so much the stories that 'should' excite me, but the ones that actually do.

There is something delicious about getting excited and the excitement that infuses a life which, of itself, is strangely not quite "enough." It's such a long-standing habit -- seeking out the Ketchup of excitement -- that questioning it is like questioning the ground beneath your feet ... the gravity and proof of existence. A part of the human compact seems to be don't-ask-don't-tell when it comes to excitement. Perhaps this accounts for the silences of the elderly. Raining on someone else's (or even your own) parade seems pretty Grinchy. Without finding excitement, wouldn't you be dead? And the answer is, of course not ... or anyway not yet.

But what is enough? What is complete? What is edgeless and smiling? Certainly it's available -- anyone who has ever sneezed one sneeze knows that. But the contentment of enough-ness is elusive, continually nagged by the habit of excitement, importance, meaning. There is no out-flanking the question of what might be enough, no high-falutin' reasoning or emoting that will fill the bill. Asking what might be enough is to suggest that we have somehow gotten things backwards, put some greater sanity on hold ... and now it's time to straighten things out. There is nothing wrong, per se, with excitement; it's just that we have denied the responsibilities that are, bit by bit, more apparent.

Out the window, it's still bright. A small breeze has kicked up. It is time for breakfast.

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