a couple of sillies

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Received in email:

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.  The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.  But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

''Yes ma'am.
My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.  'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

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 A man and his wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus finally arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd  be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."