Sunday, May 29, 2011

the can't-do spirit

The forecast says it will be cloudy and hot. This makes me think I ought to drag out the air conditioner and put it in the window ... the older I get, the more the heat takes its toll.

The air conditioner is old and heavy and where once I could lift it with ease, now the muscles rebel. This sets up a conflict: I can remember a time when things were easy. The memory is as clear as stepping on a thumb tack... of course I can do that! Ride a bike, paint a bedroom, lift an air conditioner -- of course I can. It is galling to realize that no-I-can't ... or if I can, the cost is prohibitive by subsequent aches and pains.

What's the matter with no-I-can't?

Well, I could once -- that's what's the matter. If the memory did not insist, things would be easy-peasy. It doesn't irritate me that I can't be an astronaut or run a four-minute mile or pole vault, but where the memory of past accomplishment insists, I can flounder in a crankiness that has no relief. Tough titty.

Oh well, in my next lifetime, I will become a Buddhist. Look out serenity, here I come!

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