hogwash among other things

For forty-plus years, give or a take a little, I have been interested in spiritual life. Sometimes with a fiery verve, sometimes with a warming glow, sometimes with satisfaction, sometimes with utter confusion, sometimes with cranky skepticism, sometimes ... well, hell -- you name it and there are times when I have felt as if I've been there.

One of the constant aspects of spiritual interest, at least in my life, is the constancy of questions: Implicit or explicit, there have always been questions,  even when the answers are most-loudly proclaimed. What about the ineffable? What about the 'effable?' What brings meaning? What fails entirely to bring meaning? How does belief play a role or is belief an exercise that flummoxes the peace it promises or suggests?

I imagine everyone has his or her own questions when it comes to spiritual interest. Little and large, subtle and raw....

But for anyone who has been serious about spiritual life, my guess is that there is at least one question -- one bit of willingness -- that is crucial to verifying the usefulness of spiritual adventure:

Laying all else aside, what is spiritual life when it is recognized as a choice. Not good and not bad, not tall and not short, not profound and not flimsy -- just a choice? A choice that can be made or a choice that can be left to its own devices.

It is important to acknowledge the choices of this life ... or anyway I would say so for anyone serious about spiritual adventure. True, it's scary to take responsibility, to stop waffling, to step up with all possible certainty and uncertainty.

I choose.

That's all. Never mind the Jesuitical delicacies of "who is this I?"

I just choose and it is my responsibility.

Everything else is pretty much hogwash.

Other questions are likewise possible, but this one strikes me as pretty important: I choose; spiritual adventure gains footing ... is there more?