Tuesday, December 6, 2016

having children ... NOT

The other side of the coin ... or, perhaps rather, the point at which heads and tails intermingle and wonder is no longer a bright and shining star but rather a dust storm with bright spots or a bit of wheat within the undeniable chaff. Having children is, if you listen to the whispers, a "blessing" that, ipso facto, cannot be gainsaid in social settings. There is no room for "but," and yet any parent who has taken the trouble to be a parent has slammed into the "but" wall. Rituals shudder where "buts" assert themselves. And yet, without the "buts," how honest could anything be? Is ritual more important than honesty? I don't know.
French author Corinne Maier has two children but can't wait for the youngest to leave home, saying they have left her "exhausted and bankrupt".
Her attack on "idealising parenthood" struck a chord with many mothers and fathers around the world. Here are some of their comments - followed by the responses from others who completely disagreed.
Perhaps some TED talker will come up with an oleaginous, one-size-fits-all approach to all this, but I have a feeling that the bottom line is simply learning to live with the I-don't-knows. Good, bad, having kids, not having kids ... it's nice to air the laundry, I think.

PS. And associatively there is a study:
The regular use of Caesarean sections is having an impact on human evolution, say scientists.
More mothers now need surgery to deliver a baby due to their narrow pelvis size, according to a study.
Researchers estimate cases where the baby cannot fit down the birth canal have increased from 30 in 1,000 in the 1960s to 36 in 1,000 births today.


  1. I forget his name, but back in the 60's there was a comic who said his parents saw him for what he was, "a punishment from god".

  2. That article you referenced went on to interview other scientists. The clear suggestion is that there are multiple causes for the increase in C-sections.

    As for child raising, our culture has changed so much that many of us are totally unprepared for what's in store.