The word "cruelty" sprang to life today:
Dear Abby: My 85-year-old mother told me that upon her death she is leaving each of her children a letter expressing to them how they have hurt her throughout the years. Never once has she acknowledged how deeply she has hurt US. It affected our childhood and adulthood. I think if she feels we hurt her, she should say it to us while she’s living.It has always been about Mom’s needs, not ours. I, for one, plan to put her unopened letter in her coffin to be buried with her when the time comes. Her letter is just a final hurtful arrow to stab us with, and I already have had a lifetime of that. I don’t need her to damage me further.Am I wrong? Normally parents leave heartwarming letters to give their children peace. She reads your column, so I hope she reconsiders. — Already Wounded in California
Dear Wounded: You’re not wrong. Your mother appears to be toxic. Sending her negativity down with her is a perfect solution in my opinion.