Sunday, March 4, 2012

hung up on money

Like some forgotten, untied shoelace, there always seem to be things that are not quite finished, not quite completed, not quite wrapped up in a way that would allow for a comforting forgetfulness. For example, there are some spots on the minuscule front lawn that need reseeding. There's a lawnmower that needs to be replaced. There's a tube of toothpaste that needs to be squeezed up from the bottom. I imagine everyone's got these little nags in life.

And on my Tooth Fairy list of things I would like to do and may never do is the book I wrote several years ago -- "Answer Your Love Letters: Footnotes to a Zen Practice." Back then, I pasted the book together, found an inimitable friend to help me shape and polish, sent it to a publisher, laid out the money and voila ... there it was. But later, I wanted to make it available for electronic sale -- on Kindle and stuff like that. And the same inimitable friend did the heavy lifting -- getting the Internet coding just so. It was a hell of a gift. But in the process of shaping the electronic version, I added some pictures, tucked in some calligraphy, trimmed some short chapters, and added others. It wasn't a major revision, but...

Now, nagging like an untied shoelace ... I really would like to send it back to the paper-version publisher and revise the paper version to accord with the Internet production. The only problem is that from the publisher's point of view, that amounts to a whole new book ... with a $2,000 price tag to be absorbed. Since I am retired and doing the Social Security two-step, it's unlikely to happen.

In my logical mind, it doesn't matter much ... books are just books. But in my childish, 'important' mind, I really would like to get it 'right' -- make the paper version accord with the Internet one. I like the pictures and the calligraphy ... and I like the substance added.

$2,000 was once a difficult but do-able amount. Now it's not.

I guess I should be grateful to have shoes, but this nagging shoelace ... well, is there anything without its nagging untied shoelaces?

On the one hand, "OK."

On the other hand, "shit!"

No comments:

Post a Comment