Saturday, April 28, 2012

issue and ego

One of my blind spots is this: If there is a problem, I tend to assume everyone will stick to the issue. Though less disastrous, I generally think of situations as I might when coming on a car accident: The accident and any possible injuries would take clear and compelling precedence over my fear of getting blood on my clothes or any horror I might want to express.

Issue over ego.

But in less disastrous situations, ego is frequently involved, sometimes to the exclusion of the issue. And the capacity to thread the needle -- to address the issue while being sensitive to the ego(s) involved -- is not my strongest point. Maybe it's a guy thing ... guys like to think they can solve problems, from lawn mowers to quantum physics... let's just stick with the issue; we can do the head-patting later.

And then of course there are those times when the ego is the issue...or when a person claims to be talking about the issue when really they are on some kind of ego trip.

I don't have a clear bead or a wide and wise generalization to make here. I just know that I'm more comfortable -- assuming there's a problem -- with addressing the issue. I'll try to help someone fix the lawnmower, but I run out of patience where wails of displeasure overtake and perhaps smother the effort to actually fix it. I guess it's a good thing I'm not a shrink. In my next incarnation, perhaps I will be more patient.

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