Hopping up imp-fashion onto my mental table:
I would rather burn in hell than be caught pimping for some soothing heaven.
Though I wasn't consciously thinking of him, maybe this harks back to the Zen teacher Ta Hui who once said approximately, "I have always taken a great vow that I would rather suffer the fires of hell for all eternity than to portray Zen as a human emotion."
I'm not trying to hitch my look-ma! wagon to Ta Hui, whom I admire. Ta Hui had in mind whatever he had in mind. I have in mind what I have. Who the hell knows whether we'd agree or not?