Sunday, October 14, 2018

so ... where does it all go?

Sometimes I wonder, but not too hard, where it all goes. All that experience or lack of experience. I'm not prone to imagining that my life was so noteworthy as to warrant a heaven, much less be deserving enough for hell, but where does all that jigsaw puzzle stuff of experience go in the post-facto-ness of things?

Up? Down? Sidewise? Does it somersault?
Is it ironed and folded and placed on some meticulous linen shelf?
That seems improbable ... and messy, come to that.

Sometimes I imagine taking a slip-sliding step backwards into a previously-overlooked declivity in the walls I once plastered and anointed ... just back up and disappear... and find it's just the tails on the heads of a coin I have played with all this time. Where does it go? Does it get recycled? Is it recyclable? Does it get a respite or does it turn instantaneously into yet another Pepsi bottle?

There are people with answers to questions like this, but I haven't got 'em.


  1. We're just an amalgamation of atoms, careening among uncountable others through vastness. And somehow, we came to think that our moments in all of this were somehow important. Do we really count for much now? A millennium from now? I somehow imagine the dinosaurs didn't fret over such things. How wise they were.

  2. Questions like yours validate the current popularity of the application of the Hypothesis of Alternate Time Lines in Science Fiction.

    Each dilemma in one’s life is a node in some timeline with some iteration of oneself in it. Every possible decision at that is actually made thereby creating a new set of Alternate Time Lines

    From what little about your life one can glean from this blog a Genkaku could have been a world famous journalist, or he could have saved a news paper from closing, or he could have become a Pulitzer Prize winning author, or an accomplished poet, or one of the most beloved American Zen Teachers. Likewise there’s a Genkaku who became a derilict, a Genkaku who is jail for trying to destroy Trump’s Twitter Account. Then there are timelines where the are no Genkakus at all.

    Would certainly be interesting to go into a dimension where all time lines are visible and check into a bunch to see what one did or did not do and the consequences.

    However since it’s only a theory and there’s no way to make a Quantum Leap, one needs to do one’s best and learn acceptance:

    In some timeline there a Serenity Prayer that goes...
    May I find the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The Courage to change the things I can,
    And the Wisdom to know the difference.

    I suppose that the older one gets the more one needs serenity and acceptance. That never occurred to me until now (in this time line anyway.)