The truly amazing thing about what is amazing is that it refuses to stay "amazing" and yet sets up a lifelong craving or longing or insistence on what is amazing. "I would give my left nut for ...." is not a mantram everyone might use, but it conveys the message: What is amazing melts my socks and elevates me in ways that beckon and beckon and beckon.
Amazing is like the womb of God, me-less and complete.
No more God: What an incalculable blessing or curse that neither blesses nor curses.
I would give anything to return to that place and time and characteristic-free breath.
But there is no return.
A kiss, an orgasm, a soft and inescapable shifting of some very ordinary landscape, a sunset or dawn ... it can be anywhere and anything. Pundits wax wise. Fuck 'em! It is the realm itself that beckons and who in his right mind would not yearn for such surcease and completion?
Who would not give anything for the ordinary?
A few days back, i was at the barn, running water into the cattle tank, they'd been fed, and i was just sitting and watching the water pour from a pipe into a tank. And everything was perfect, whatever it was, it was fine. I felt good, in spite of aches and pains and worries. I thought it was amazing, and it lasted a little while. Maybe the cattle felt it too. I hope so.
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