When I first took an interest in spiritual life, I was peeing in my pants to be included in the spiritual-life realm -- to be a 'real' Hindu or Buddhist or whoever-all-else who had bona fides. I wanted to join. I wanted to be counted-among ... and I had no clue how to do it. If I made donations, maybe? If I went to centers, maybe? If I read a lot of books, maybe? If I hung out with those who seemed to be anointed already, maybe? Oh, I felt like an orphan in a world where everyone else had a family.
How the hell did anyone sign on?
Well, signing on worked itself out.
But what does anyone do when it comes time to sign off? Seriously, isn't there an unwritten quid pro quo in spiritual (or any other) life: If you can sign on, you have to know how to sign off ... because if you don't know how to sign off, you have never adequately signed on.
But that doesn't mean the uncoupling (so to speak) is smooth or simple. Looking back -- now and again, I busted my chops. Now and again I wept. Now and again the skies parted ... only to close again. Now and again I simply could not think of anything more relevant or important .... spiritual wisdom or ignorance or attachment or revulsion or whatever it was stuck all over me for 40 or 50 years. But what payback, what scent, what height and weight will be relinquished in death? Continuing to bask and hold on to spiritual interests is antithetical to spiritual interests, to the extent they are taken seriously. So... what then....? What divestiture awaits or insists? How do you get out of what must be gotten out of with the same insistence that once was applied to getting in?
And yesterday, what occurred to me as the universal solvent came visiting:
Every human being deserves and is compelled to drown in some insufferable credulity.
Insufferable credulity is what makes individuals interesting in both positive and negative senses. Humanist, creationist, intellectual, dumbkopf, carpenter, writer, millennial, octogenarian, well read, Bible thumper, musician, horndog, policy wonk, miser, Ted talker, self-immolator, stamp collector ...
Just big and juicy and up to the armpits. Secret or open. It's all the same ... the importance of insufferable credulity...the stuff that makes stuff interesting ... and horrific.
That the individual will grow into
And grow out of
For the benefit of self
And the benefit of others.
It's the ketchup on an otherwise dumb-ass hamburger.
Interested in spiritual life ... insufferable credulity.
Weaned from spiritual life ... insufferable credulity.
So that eventually being insufferable -- being interesting -- requires too much energy. It is acceptable not to be credulous and thereby -- hallelujah! -- not to be insufferable.