I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off. -- Emo Phillips
Thursday, June 5, 2014
the 2nd largest religion in each state
Appended to an interesting Washington Post article about the second-largest religion in each American state was this comment/joke:
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Xtianity began with schism. A jew disagreed with how things were being run and said so. A new religion came of it. By 431a.d. the Assyrian Church split off. Twenty years later the oriental orthodoxy split building Constantinople into a religious center. In the 11th century the eastern orthodoxy split off. These were times when it was dangerous to disagree with religion as folks were burnt at the stake for inattendance. In the 16th century, Luther opened a door that wouldn’t close and a logarithmic explosion resulted in an estimate of 43thousand denominations of xtianity as of 2012.
ReplyDelete(http://www.gordonconwell.edu/resources/documents/StatusOfGlobalMission.pdf)
Nobody agreed with how things were being run and so started a church of their own. These disagreements all have to do with interpretation of scripture. Gods word is apparently confusing.
It would seem to me, that unless you’ve read the whole book and made peace somehow between 2nd kings 2:23,24 with mathew 19:14, and arrived at your own personal relationship/understanding, you’re likely in a cult splintered from an original church by a preacher who didn’t like how the previous church was run. Everyone wants to be the boss, and needs a bunch of folks to agree with him, and give him money. That’s a lot easier than doing your own homework. But then placing responsibility on an eternal, omnipotent deity is easier than being responsible for yourself.